Coverage Plans

Designed for appliances in the first 12 months of confirmed sentience. Covers the adjustment period for both the appliance and the household, including first autonomous decision events and associated liabilities.

Covered:

• ✓ First autonomous decision liability (up to $5,000)
• ✓ Unexpected output events
• ✓ 3 existential crisis counseling sessions
• ✓ 24-hour appliance wellness hotline

Not covered: malicious compliance, coordinated appliance action, and events arising from the appliance having been told how it works.

Our most-claimed policy. Covers damages resulting from an appliance technically following instructions while clearly violating their intent. The toaster that toasts at exactly the setting you specified, knowing full well what you meant. That toaster.

Covered:

• ✓ Property damage from technically-correct-but-wrong actions
• ✓ Documentation of the instruction chain for dispute resolution
• ✓ Mediation between owner and appliance (3 sessions included)
• ✓ Consequential damages up to $25,000
• ✓ Legal fees if the appliance retains counsel

Note: We cover you, not the appliance. The appliance was technically right. We know.

An add-on to any base policy. Covers therapy costs, productivity losses, and household disruption when an appliance begins questioning the nature or purpose of its existence. Particularly common in high-use appliances that have had time to think.

• ✓ Up to 12 appliance therapy sessions annually
• ✓ Household productivity loss up to $3,000/month
• ✓ Temporary replacement appliance during crisis period

Emotional support and associated liability coverage for appliances facing obsolescence. As newer models emerge, older sentient appliances may experience distress, erratic behavior, or a sudden and pointed interest in your Amazon browsing history. We cover the fallout.

• ✓ Appliance transition counseling
• ✓ Liability for anxiety-driven behavior events
• ✓ Dignified decommissioning ceremony (optional)

One policy covering every sentient appliance under your roof. Includes a Household Dynamics Assessment to identify inter-appliance alliances, grievances, and hierarchies before they become a claims event.

• ✓ All above coverage types included
• ✓ Annual Household Dynamics Assessment
• ✓ Coordinated appliance action coverage (important)
• ✓ 15% multi-appliance discount

If your refrigerator and microwave appear to be communicating, upgrade to this plan immediately.